i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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