OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
