what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
