You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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