In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
