you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
