I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
