what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
