i barfeds in our rink
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
