Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
