Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
