He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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