So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
