I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
