He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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