Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
