He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
