i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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