Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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