"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just cut my nipple shaving
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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