so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
