mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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