I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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