no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
