Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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