Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
