I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
