I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
