I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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