Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
