Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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