I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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