every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
