it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
