His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
