lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
