turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
