C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
