Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
