she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
