i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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