if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
