Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Girls should come with a carfax report
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
