i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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