you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
