Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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