Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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