I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
