I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
