it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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