I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
