my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
