covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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