Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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